The Stolen Cheese
by J.D.Chew
From the many unusual incidents at Lodz Camp (HKP 20) I recall the matter of a 56 lb. Cheese that caused a Law Suit. One of the most "sort-after" outside jobs was to be a "Driver's Mate" to a German Transport Driver that belonged to a Transport Pool attached to the German Army.
Two of our number in the Camp held such a position with a very understanding driver. The job was varied whereby they often had to go out of the City to visit farms to pick up produce for the German kitchens, and frequently and unofficially the odd chicken, eggs and produce found its way into the camp.
The job was so cherished that, even if either of the two P.o.Ws felt ill and should have gone on sick parade, they went to work rather than risk a replacement taking their position.
On one occasion "Otto" their German Driver was instructed to pick up a consignment of goods from the Goods Siding at Lodz Station, the siding was large enough to be classed as a Marshalling Yard and a Truck Number was on the Consignment Note.
On arrival along the rows of Parked Rail Trucks they tried to find the Number they required, but to no avail, so "Otto" stated he would have to go to the Main Office to make further inquiries. He instructed the two P.o.Ws to remain in the cab, as they would otherwise get picked up by the Railway Police on patrol.
Whilst Otto was away the lads sat in the cab having a quiet smoke and along come a German civilian in a white coat and clip board and jumps up on a wagon near them revealing a load of 56 lb. cheeses from Holland (the boys thought we could do with one of those in the Camp as a change of diet!).
The civilian proceeds to check the numbers on the cheeses from his records, after a time he jumps down from the wagon and disappears round the back to attend "to a call of nature". Seeing their opportunity the two P.o.Ws slip out of their cab and quickly acquire one of nearest cheeses and dump it in the back of the lorry, covering it with a sack and they were back in their cab before the civilian appeared.
In continuing his checking he somehow seemed to miss a cheese and rechecked his numbers. The two lads in the cab suddenly wished "Otto" would return to drive away from the scene and the civilian checker look up and down the row of wagons and spotted the two P.o.Ws looking innocent in their cab.
Up he comes to the cab window and taps on the window "You have my Cheese! Their reply "We cannot speak or understand German " - "You have my Cheese!!” I inspect you lorry" (Oh Lord ! now we are in trouble). Up Jumps the civilian over the back and uncovers the sack and behold there was the missing Cheese, with a cry of victory he gets out a whistle and up come the Railway Police and arrests the two P.o.Ws.
As they march off up come "Otto" their driver. "What are you doing with my two P.0.Ws?" and he learns of the circumstances. He draws the two lads aside and inquires whether they were involved. - "Officially Otto we are innocent - unofficially we did help ourselves" Otto explained they had put him in a spot" for leaving them unattended and they would have to "face the music".
The two P.o.Ws were taken to the Civy Gaol to await a Court Case, their Charge being not in stealing ONE Cheese but stealing 1,500 German civilian Weekly Cheese Rations. This all sounded much more serious. They in due course were taken to Court in Lodz and the Magistrate (or Judge) heard the Charge and explained in English (as he had in pre-war days partly trained in London) they could offer any defence they had in English, "What had they to say to the Charge"?
The two P.o.Ws explained they were quite innocent for while they were sitting in the cab of the lorry' a Polish civilian on passing the wagon of cheeses (knowing how short the Germans kept the P.o.W Camp short of food) he "gave a gesture. "Would they like one of the Cheeses in question?" He kindly limbed one of the cheeses off the wagon into their lorry and departed.
The Judge, with a smile, explained "Boys you forget where you are" - In England under English Law you are Innocent until proved Guilty. "You are now in Germany - You are Guilty until you can be proved innocent " Therefore produce this kind Polish civilian and your charge is dropped.
The obvious outcome was no Polish civilian could be produced so the punishment was "28 Days on Bread and Water & NO CHEESE". After the 28 Days the lads returned into Lodz Camp, looking rather pale and quite slim and waiting' for them were their uneaten Red X Rations, and on entry into the Camp , the Camp lined up to greet them as the Camp Band struck up "There'll always be an ENGLAND".
Even our Guards and the Commandant were amused over the whole incident. Their greater punishment was that they lost their cherished job as Drivers Mates but at least they had had a good try to augment our Camp Rations.
Two of our number in the Camp held such a position with a very understanding driver. The job was varied whereby they often had to go out of the City to visit farms to pick up produce for the German kitchens, and frequently and unofficially the odd chicken, eggs and produce found its way into the camp.
The job was so cherished that, even if either of the two P.o.Ws felt ill and should have gone on sick parade, they went to work rather than risk a replacement taking their position.
On one occasion "Otto" their German Driver was instructed to pick up a consignment of goods from the Goods Siding at Lodz Station, the siding was large enough to be classed as a Marshalling Yard and a Truck Number was on the Consignment Note.
On arrival along the rows of Parked Rail Trucks they tried to find the Number they required, but to no avail, so "Otto" stated he would have to go to the Main Office to make further inquiries. He instructed the two P.o.Ws to remain in the cab, as they would otherwise get picked up by the Railway Police on patrol.
Whilst Otto was away the lads sat in the cab having a quiet smoke and along come a German civilian in a white coat and clip board and jumps up on a wagon near them revealing a load of 56 lb. cheeses from Holland (the boys thought we could do with one of those in the Camp as a change of diet!).
The civilian proceeds to check the numbers on the cheeses from his records, after a time he jumps down from the wagon and disappears round the back to attend "to a call of nature". Seeing their opportunity the two P.o.Ws slip out of their cab and quickly acquire one of nearest cheeses and dump it in the back of the lorry, covering it with a sack and they were back in their cab before the civilian appeared.
In continuing his checking he somehow seemed to miss a cheese and rechecked his numbers. The two lads in the cab suddenly wished "Otto" would return to drive away from the scene and the civilian checker look up and down the row of wagons and spotted the two P.o.Ws looking innocent in their cab.
Up he comes to the cab window and taps on the window "You have my Cheese! Their reply "We cannot speak or understand German " - "You have my Cheese!!” I inspect you lorry" (Oh Lord ! now we are in trouble). Up Jumps the civilian over the back and uncovers the sack and behold there was the missing Cheese, with a cry of victory he gets out a whistle and up come the Railway Police and arrests the two P.o.Ws.
As they march off up come "Otto" their driver. "What are you doing with my two P.0.Ws?" and he learns of the circumstances. He draws the two lads aside and inquires whether they were involved. - "Officially Otto we are innocent - unofficially we did help ourselves" Otto explained they had put him in a spot" for leaving them unattended and they would have to "face the music".
The two P.o.Ws were taken to the Civy Gaol to await a Court Case, their Charge being not in stealing ONE Cheese but stealing 1,500 German civilian Weekly Cheese Rations. This all sounded much more serious. They in due course were taken to Court in Lodz and the Magistrate (or Judge) heard the Charge and explained in English (as he had in pre-war days partly trained in London) they could offer any defence they had in English, "What had they to say to the Charge"?
The two P.o.Ws explained they were quite innocent for while they were sitting in the cab of the lorry' a Polish civilian on passing the wagon of cheeses (knowing how short the Germans kept the P.o.W Camp short of food) he "gave a gesture. "Would they like one of the Cheeses in question?" He kindly limbed one of the cheeses off the wagon into their lorry and departed.
The Judge, with a smile, explained "Boys you forget where you are" - In England under English Law you are Innocent until proved Guilty. "You are now in Germany - You are Guilty until you can be proved innocent " Therefore produce this kind Polish civilian and your charge is dropped.
The obvious outcome was no Polish civilian could be produced so the punishment was "28 Days on Bread and Water & NO CHEESE". After the 28 Days the lads returned into Lodz Camp, looking rather pale and quite slim and waiting' for them were their uneaten Red X Rations, and on entry into the Camp , the Camp lined up to greet them as the Camp Band struck up "There'll always be an ENGLAND".
Even our Guards and the Commandant were amused over the whole incident. Their greater punishment was that they lost their cherished job as Drivers Mates but at least they had had a good try to augment our Camp Rations.